Stay Near Me, Daddy

The last couple of nights Joshua has been extra clingy (is that a word?). He wants me by him constantly. While he is playing, he wants me by him. When he is laying down, he wants me by him. I love it, yet it is draining. Sometimes I just need to have a break. I feel drained. Yet, at the same time, I enjoy the fact that he loves me so much. All he wants is for his daddy to be around. He wants to know he is safe. He wants to know he is not alone. He wants to know I am near by.

I want to enjoy these moments. I know that one day he will be older and we will not get this moment back. He will be wanting to do his own thing and I will long to be near him. I pray I learn to embrace these moments.

As I think about Joshua’s desire to be near to his daddy, I am forced to think of my own relationship with God. We are encouraged to draw near to God (James 4:8). I have to ask myself the hard question: Am I seeking to draw near to God? DO I desire to get closer to Him each day?Do I so long to be with Him that I cannot stand the idea of not being near him? Do I, like Joshua, just want to be near my daddy? I believe God wants me to be that in love with Him. He wants me to seek Him. He wants me to love being with him. He longs for me to long after him. God is my daddy and he loves his child.

I am thankful for the lessons we learn through children. My prayer is that we can all learn to love God so much we cannot stand the thought of not being near Him. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Sometimes Life Hurts

Last Friday I took Joshua to a doctor's appointment. It was the routine four month check. I am happy to report that he is healthy and growing strong. A part of the four month check up is immunizations. The word immunizations sounds so much nicer than shots. The nurse came in with three syringes of various immunizations to shoot into my four month old son's legs. My job was to hold his arms and head while the nurse held down his legs and gave him the shots. He screamed a painful cry as the needle penetrated the skin. Big crocodile tears dripped down his face and then he looked at me. I am not sure what his mind is able to comprehend or how he processes his thoughts; but it seemed to be a look of "Why are you letting this happen to me?" It broke my heart. I did not want to see my child hurt. I did not want to see him in pain. I wanted to hold him and tell the nurse to keep those needles away from my baby boy. But I did not. I knew the temporary pain of receiving a shot would help him be stronger and more equipped to fight off sickness in the future.

I began thinking about that and realized it is similar to our spiritual walk with Christ. Sometimes life hurts. We go through trials, persecution, hardships, sickness, and pain. We like Joshua do not understand what is taking place and we look to our heavenly Father with a "why are you letting this happen?" attitude. Nobody enjoys pain (unless there is something deeply wrong with them), yet we all suffer pain. Nobody likes to hurt. We do not like suffering. We do not like persecution, yet we all face it. I believe the trials, persecution, and sufferings we face are making us stronger and more equipped to stand strong in our faith. They serve as a spiritual shot, an immunization, preparing us to fight against the sin that seeks to overtake us.

When the shots were finished, I picked up my son and held him close. I softly talked to him telling I love him. I sang a song to him. I let him know that he was loved. When I make it through a trial, I feel my Lord grab me and hold me close. He whispers that everything is okay. He sings over me. No, I do not hear an audible voice or feel a physical touch from God, yet I experience something much deeper. I experience an amazing renewal and transfromation that moves me closer to God.

Sometimes life hurts. It is during those times that we must learn to listen to what God is seeking to teach us. He loves us and He does not want to see us in pain, but He knows that when we overcome this temporary trial - we will receive something much greater.

Fatherhood

Life with three boys is an adventure! I have experienced things since becoming a father that I would have never experienced otherwise. I started coaching Drew's soccer team a couple seasons back and it is now soccer season again. Timothy has really started to like soccer as well. I knew nothing about the sport until I started coaching. I could not name the positions or tell you the roles of the players, but because I was coach, I somehow had the authority. I know a little more now, but will not be coaching past U-6 (under six years old). I have learned a lot through this experience. I have learned the importance of team and the importance of example. Some parents want to win at all costs, and I must admit it makes my ego feel better when our team wins too. However, I feel it important that everyone be on equal ground. The kid on our team that is not very good and has a habit of kicking the ball in the wrong direction is as important as the kid who scores almost every time they get the ball. I realize that philosophy will not work in a more competitive age range, but I believe it is laying a foundation for the future. We are all equal. We are all valuable. We are all loved. We are all created in the image of God. I want these children to know that they are valuable and they are loved. It has nothing to do with their ability to kick a soccer ball, but it has everything to do with the fact they were loved so much that Jesus died for them.

Fatherhood teaches me a lot about life. Everything is an adventure. When we ride in our car - it is an adventure. Every time we go under an overpass, the boys pretend it is a cave. "We have to duck under the cave daddy" the boys will say. Sometime I pretend to bump my head on the cave and the boys will not stop laughing. Each time we go on a bridge the boys pretend they are running across to make it to the other side. It is quite an adventure. I believe life in Christ is also an adventure. It is an amazing journey when we walk with Christ. There are caves we have to get through and bridges we must walk across and while at the time it may seem difficult or pointless, we realize that we have gained something form the journey. The ride in the car gives me a special time of bonding with my kids. It is a great adventure that I know one day I will look back at the teenagers in the back seat with the headphones in their ears and wish for times of laughter once again. However, I pray that the journey we experience now will provide the foundation for a great future.