Confessions of a Confused Christian

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Sometimes I Need a Reminder

It has been a while since my last post. We have disconnected our Internet service at home in order to cut expenses. Things are going well overall. Drew is continuing to adjust and is getting better each passing day. Timothy is getting used to having a brother. They play well together most of the time. There are the typical moments of sibling rivalry. "That's my toy."
"No it's mine!"
Timothy and Drew both love to sing, but Timothy hates when Drew sings with him. I can't understand what the big deal is. But there are those wonderful moments, those Kodak moments. Both boys will be outside playing and they sit on the porch swing together. Timothy will turn to Drew and say, "I love you, brother." Drew will say, "I love you, Timothy." Those moments make us so proud.

The struggle for me is who do I pay attention to at this particular moment? I interact and play with both boys, but there are those times when both of them want my attention without their brother being involved in the activity. Timothy will want me to play ball just with him, while Drew wants to sit in my lap and read a book. Who do you choose? It is a battle of wills. I seek to be fair and I try to spend equal time with both boys. I can read their expressions and understand who needs me most at that particular moment, but it is hard. There are times when Drew is having a hard time, I can read from his actions and facial expressions that he is missing his homeland, that he is hurting and needs someone to hold him and tell him it will be okay.

There are times when Timothy is wondering why this visitor has not gone home yet. How did I suddenly get a brother. Why do I have to share my mom and dad? He needs someone to hold him and tell him that he is still loved and he is still special and that we love him now just as much as we ever have.

When you think on a deeper level, we are not all that different. I have times when I feel alone and scared and unsure about the world around me. At those times I need someone to comfort me and tell me it will all be okay, that I am loved and special and care for. I am thankful that I have that in God. He is my loving Father who holds me in His arms when I am at my weakest point and he lovingly reminds me that I am His son.

I often get so preoccupied with the daily race around me that I forget. What about you? Have you crawled up on you heavenly Daddy's lap and let Him tell you how much you are loved? If it has been a while, now may be a good opportunity to spend time with Him.