Morning Joy: When Will Morning Come?

I determined long ago to name this blog Confessions of a Confused Christian. However, as I recently went back over many of the posts, I realized there was not a lot of confessing or confusion. Every post seemed to always resolve itself into total assurance. It seemed as though there was no real faith struggle that every i was always dotted and every t was always crossed. I admit that some of the reasoning is because I switched my primary means of communication from this blog over to Facebook. However, even there, I could see that most posts talk about how great my faith is and an outsider may think my faith does not waver.

So, here I am pondering this moment of how deep to go; how much to share. It is difficult to use written words as a form of communication because it is impossible to sense the tone and emotion behind the words. However, since the blog has the words confused and confess in it, I feel it is only appropriate to confess my confusion. Sometimes I really struggle in my faith. I struggle in my relationship with God. I often do not see relevance in the church. When I read the Bible, I am often confused. I read of a church in the first century that seemed so honest, so real yet I see much of the church today being so superficial. I see people in the New Testament fighting for what they stand for, and I see so many Christians today fighting about what they are against. We rally and protest and get loud and rarely love, I mean truly love. We are well known for what we are against, but rarely show what we are for. That confuses me. Am I supposed to stand in a line and picket the abortion clinic, or am I to present a cup of water to a hurt woman who just made the decision to abort the baby? Which would Jesus do? If I show love to her am I now saying I support abortion? Must I yell and spit so I can prove I am a Christian or was Jesus actually telling the truth when he said they will know we are Christians by our love?

The truth is I am often confused. I have been hurt. I have felt abandoned and betrayed. I have been hurt by the church. I have bought the lie that I had to be against all the things I am supposed to be against and somewhere along the way I have forgotten what I am supposed to be for. I have often tried to please church people and in the process have found myself drifting further and further away from who God has truly called me to be. I have been hurt by the church. I have been hurt to the point that it is often difficult to differentiate if it is people or God who is hurting me. Why must it be so difficult?

One of my favorite verses has been Psalm 30:5 which declares, “For his anger lasts only a moment,but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” What a comforting thought to know that joy comes in the morning. However, sometimes it seems that morning will never come. I often identify with the poet Emily Dickinson who penned these words: 

Will there really be a “Morning”?
Is there such a thing as “Day”?
Could I see it from the mountains
If I were as tall as they?

Has it feet like Water lilies?
Has it feathers like a Bird?
Is it brought from famous countries
Of which I have never heard?

Oh some Scholar! Oh some Sailor!
Oh some Wise Men from the skies!
Please to tell a little Pilgrim
Where the place called “Morning” lies!

Will morning joy ever come? Or will we just remain in tears of mourning? Will joy find it’s way into our lives, or are we destined to lie in constant wait? I confess that God confuses me and His word sometimes troubles more than it comforts. There are times in our lives when it hurts so much we just can’t see the joy coming. We feel the pain and experience the darkness which seeks to consume us. So we wait. We sit in the dark of night waiting for the morning joy to come. We long to feel anything other than the current hell we are experiencing. We look to God, even in the midst of what seems like His silence and we wait. We hope. We look toward that morning light which will bring the joy. However, in the meantime, we wait and search for the place where morning lies.

Power & Hope: Lessons Learned From the Africa Children's Choir

Last night, my family went to see the African Children’s Choir. This was about the third time we have seen this choir perform and each time has been amazing. Last night was no exception. The group of children made the entrance with shouts of jubilation as they danced on the stage. The enthusiasm and power they showed were quite impressive. We clapped and cheered and sang along as they performed their songs and dances.

One of the most touching moments for me personally took place a little over half way through the evening. The children came out one at a time saying their name and what they wanted to be when they were older. I loved hearing about their dreams of being pilots, police officers, teachers, bankers, and pastors. I thought about what life must have been like for them early on. Most came from a home with at least one parent deceased or not present for whatever reason. Many had no running water, no substantial source of income. They all came from poverty. These children had seen and experienced more heartache in their young lives than most people experience in a lifetime. They could easily have the mindset that they have no real future. We may look at people of similar circumstance and have little hope they will become anything significant. Yet, they had the dream and vision and hope of becoming the best they could. They refused to buy the lie that they were insignificant.  They refused to let their dreams die. They desire to beat the odds and become someone of great significance.

The true reality is they are already significant. They were created in the image of God. They were deemed worthy of the blood of Jesus as he died to give them hope and a future that far exceeds anything they could ever even dream. The stage presence of these children possessed such power that you believed they would become all those things they said they wanted to be. Yet that fails in comparison to the awesome power of our Lord working in the lives of people. His power is available to all. He is the source of all power and all hope. As the children sang He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands, I could not help but recognize how true that really is. He holds it all together. The stars, the land, the sea are all held together by Him. Mankind finds hope in Him. He’s got the homeless in His hands. He’s got  the widow in His hands. He’s got the child walking 45 minutes for water to do laundry in His hands. He loves the fatherless. He loves the single mother struggling to love and care for her kids and pay the bills. He loves the dad who works long hours to provide the best way he knows how. God loves the athletic and the uncoordinated. He loves the educated and uneducated. God loves the prostitute and the nun. He loves the rich and the poor. He loves you and me. He’s got the whole world in His hands. Therefore we can dream. We can hope. We have a future. We have love and acceptance no matter what this world throws at us. We have God, therefore we have all we need.

God's Dream team

The closing ceremony of the 2012 Olympics takes place tonight. I always enjoy watching the Olympic events. I like the stories and the athleticism that a part of the games. One of the stories this year was in the arena of basketball. Kobe Bryant made an implication that the current USA basketball team could beat the original dream team of 1992.  Sports radio and newspaper articles immediately debating. Could basketball players such as Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and Lebron James beat guys like Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, David Robinson, and Larry Bird? I heard arguments both ways, but most seemed to agree that the edge would belong to the 1992 team. 

In listening to people discuss the strengths and weaknesses of both groups, my mind began to wander and wonder. What if God were to assemble His dream team? What would that look like? There would be brave men and women who would obviously be chosen first, right? You would have to include a man like Abraham so faithful and trusting that he would pack up his family and leave even when he had no clue where God would lead him. You would probably include Noah who stayed faithful when all others turned away. he built a boat when he had never seen rain. You would probably include a guy like Moses who stood fearlessly before Pharaoh and demanded him to let God's people go. What about David who fought a giant and killed him? He would have to be included. What about Peter who stood fearlessly stating that he would obey God rather than man, whatever the cost may be? He would have to be on God's dream team. Who could possibly forget Paul who was beaten and left for dead because he preached the gospel, yet he still fulfilled his mission. He definitely needs to be on God's dream team.

All these men may make you and feel as though we have no place on God's dream team. I mean we may love God, but have we been tested like these men? Have you and I been beaten and left for dead? Have we built a boat when we never saw rain? Have we killed a giant because he disrespected God? Have we faced prison for being a Christian? It seems that God's roster must be full. Surely there is no room for us. I mean we fall short in so many ways. We doubt. We mistreat people sometimes. We give in to pressure. Is there any hope?

Fortunately God's team is also made up of guys like Abraham, who despite great faith also expressed fear and told his wife to lie and say she was his sister. It is made up of guys like Noah who after being delivered from destruction got off the ark and passed out drunk. It is made up of guys like Moses who doubted God's ability and decision making. It is made up guys like David who committed adultery and tried to cover it up by having the lady's husband murdered. It's made up of guys like Peter who gave into pressure and denied even knowing Jesus. It's made up of guys like Paul who was a murderer. So, perhaps there is room for you and I.

God calls us to become a part of His team - His dream team. He looks at our faults and finds goodness. He looks at our doubts and finds mustard seed sized faith. He looks at our darkness and offers light. He looks at our restlessness and offers peace and rest. "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." It's as though he is saying, I know you feel alone in this world. I know you feel there is no one to support you, no one who cares for you, no one who will pick you. I know sometimes you feel like the kid on the playground that nobody wants to have on their team, but God's says, "I want you on MY team. Come to me." Will you join God's team? Will you thank him for choosing you. He knows you are imperfect, that's why He chose you. Will you just relish in the fact that He wants you on His team?

The incarnation

Here is part 2 of the Forklift Evangelist Christmas series. Check out the youtube channel for other videos.

Missing the Messiah: A devotional thought from the forklift evangelist

I started a series called Forklift Evangelist. Here is the first of the Christmas series. Let me know what you think.

How is your heart?

Nearly a month has passed since that day. I had not been feeling well. I was constantly fatigued and kept having dizzy spells.

After a lot of prodding from my wife, I finally decided to go to the hospital. The doctor ran all kinds of tests. I had CT scans and ultrasounds, treadmill test, and an echo cardiogram. I wore a heart monitor for nearly a month. No major problems were found, but a lot of monitoring was done.

I began to think about our spiritual life. What if we had the ability to look into our spiritual hearts? What would we see? Would our heart be healthy? Would we see areas of concern that we needed to focus on? Would there be changes we would need to make?

I believe we do have such a spiritual heart monitor. The Bible is a guide, a monitor that can expose our heart’s true spiritual condition. It shows areas where we are in need of change.

How is your heart? Do you see the areas that need work? Do you need to incorporate a healthy diet of study of God’s word? Ask God to show you what changes you need to make.

Siting at the Feet of Grace

Recently I was reading the account of Jesus at the hoe of Mary and Martha in the gospel of Luke (10:38-42). Recall the scene in your mind. Jesus was with his disciples when Martha opened up her home to him. Remember that Mary (Martha’s sister) was sitting at the feet of Jesus, while Martha was busy worrying about the preparations.

Can you imagine? Jesus is in your home! You want everything to be perfect. You begin cleaning and there is nothing out of place. You are slaving all day long over the hot stove baking and cooking and cleaning. You then come to the realization that your sister, Mary, is in the other room just listening and talking with Jesus. You become green with envy! After all, you’re the one that invited him over in the first place. You should be the one listening to his words. But no, you’re stuck in here baking while Mary is the one who is being lazy and making you do all the work. You become furious, and finally you just can’t take it anymore. You come stomping into the room where the others are and you say, “Lord! Don’t you care that Mary has left me to do all the work? Tell her to get in here and help me!”

Then Jesus says these words to her, “Martha, only one thing matters. Mary has chosen what is better.”

The only thing that matters is sitting at the feet of our Lord and learning from him and listening to him. Have you ever been guilty of being too busy to get down at the feet of our gracious Lord and learn from him? I pray that you learn what is most important and sit at his feet and not become so busy with other things that you become blind as to what is really important.

The second chapter of Philippians uses words such as encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness, and compassion. Later on in verse ten, the Bible says “…at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.”

Encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness, and compassion all come with bowing down at the feet of Christ. Make it your goal to take the time to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn from him. Bow down and humble yourself and realize what is most important: Jesus! I challenge you to join Mary and sit down at the feet of grace.

Let the Chains Fall Away

This passed weekend was the Tulsa Workshop. It is always the highlight of my year. I always leave challenged and refreshed. I love to walk around the booths and see what ministries and missions there are around the world. I love to see old friends and catch up with what is going on in their lives. I especially love to attend the classes and hear great men of faith pour out God’s truth in a challenging and inspiring way.

This year’s theme was “Let the Chains Fall Away.” What a powerful message. So many chains seem to bind us as Christians. We are held in bondage by our traditions, our pride, our inferiority, our hypocrisy, our view of God, and the list could go on and on. Although I love the workshop and enjoyed each nights worship and keynote session, I have to confess that I was often distracted. I often find myself distracted. My mind wanders a thousand different directions and I find myself having to constantly refocus my thoughts. Friday night was one of those nights that I found myself distracted. I had spent the day at the workshop. Just Joshua and I went during the day and he was in child care. I was free to attend the classes and I loved it. I had the car and I knew Kellie and the boys wanted to come to the workshop for the night session. I left at 4:00 to get Kellie, Andrew, and Timothy. It took over an hour to get from Tulsa to Muskogee because of construction. We were hoping to make it to the Acappella concert at 6:00 before the evening worship at 7:00. Well, we didn’t make it until close to 6:40. We rushed inside and caught the last few songs. I was frustrated that it took so long to get back to Tulsa. I was distracted by all the kids running around throwing balls and toy cars while I was trying to get into the mode of praise and worship. It is then that I noticed him. A few rows away sat a young man who was obviously “intellectually delayed.” While everyone around him seemed to have a distracted look on their face because of the noise around them, this young man stood with his arms raised in the air, tears in his eyes, singing to his Lord. He was not held prisoner by the circumstances around him, he was just praising. We had a short break between the concert and the evening session, so we took the boys to their class and Kellie and I came back into the pavilion. We sat in a different area this time, but I could still see this young man. He had his arms raised in the air and I could see the emotion and gratitude in his demeanor as he worshiped. In that moment when my mind was racing and I was still watching the kids throw their toys and wondering why their parents were not doing anything to stop them, that God began to work on my heart. It was though He was saying, “See that guy right there? That is how I want you to live.” God wants me (and you) to live life free of the chains. The chains of pride, the chains of undiscipline, the chains a lukewarm life. God wants me to be free. Regardless of my surroundings, He is calling me to give Him the worship He is worthy of. When all the world want to distract me, He wants me to focus completely on Him. When the noise of this earthly life is loud, God offers me complete peace in Him.

I thanked God for His freedom. I thanked him for that young man God used to teach me. I am thankful for freedom in Christ. It is true freedom. Eternal freedom. this life on earth is but a vapor and if all freedoms were taken away, I can still have true freedom in Christ. It is a choice. Following God is a choice. Will I choose to follow Him and experience His freedom? … or am I content to live in chains because that is my comfort zone? What about you? What choice will you make? Will you allow the world to distract you and keep you chained … or will you choose to completely surrender to Christ and be free?

“If the Son set you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

The Incarnation: God's Response to a Suffering World

When we look at the world around us, we can see so much pain and suffering. It gets depressing just watching the news these days. We hear of another rape, another murder, another robbery. We see another terrorist act, another casualty in the war. We see suffering all around. Many of you can recall where you were the exact moment a tragedy such as the Oklahoma City bombing or 9/11 occurred. Bad news is all around us. Tragedy often seems to be around every corner. Human suffering invades our lives on a continual basis. We live in unstable times. We can recall the things that once seemed so safe and how they now have been scarred. Recall the group of people shopping in a mall when someone opened fire and claimed innocent lives. The tragedy that took place at a college campus when an alienated student went on a shooting rampage. What about the people attending a worship service that is suddenly interrupted by gun fire – it wasn’t in a communist country it was in the heartland of the United States. We live in a time of uncertainty. And the people cry out, “Where is God?” They say, “If God is such a loving God, then why did this happen? Why did He allow it? Why didn’t He stop it?” We live in uncertain times. Each day people face tragedy: loss of a loved one, unemployment, bankruptcy, victims of violence, homelessness, hunger, poverty, and the list could go on and on. And they cry out, “Where is God? Does He care? Does He even exist?” I have faced some tragedies of my own and I have found myself asking the same questions at times. I think back to driving in the car on Christmas Eve from Oklahoma City to Muskogee after leaving my grandfather’s funeral. Christmas Eve was always such a special time in our family and yet this one carried with it the loss of a dearly loved man. I think back to those times when I felt so rejected by people. I think back to the kid who was one of the leaders in a gang who said he wanted to make a change. When he asked if I could meet with him the next day, I responded yes and as I went to the housing project where he lived and hugged the kids in the neighborhood who were my friends and talked with parents, uncles, and siblings I hear gun shots and there lies the gang member who said he wanted a better life…And I cried out, “Why?”Why didn’t I make a choice to take him home with me the night before to get him out of the neighborhood? Why did God let this happen?” Tragedy has a way of slapping us in the face and daring us to respond. Bad news is all around us. Not much has changed over the last couple of millenia. Since the beginning of sin, people have questioned why. Since sin entered the world, bad news has been showing its ugly face. And it is in those moments of bad news that we need hope. It is in the midst of tragedy that we need peace. It is in the eye of the emotional storm that we feel helpless to control that we need to experience the calm, gentle breeze. God looked at this world and saw the hurt and pain that seemed to have overtaken us as a people. He sent prophets to the people and he sent various messengers, yet God still seemed so distant. He still seemed so far away. God knew the perfect solution. While He would still use people, He would do something that would truly impact the world. He came into the world and walked and talked and lived among us. Luke 2:8-11 states: And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This time of year is a reminder that God made a decision to come to this earth in the form of a baby named Jesus. He could not sit by and watch His people suffer, he responded by becoming flesh and blood and moving into the neighborhood. He went through the trials we go through, he suffered like we suffer – that is good news. And although tragedy still occurs, we know how to deal with it because He put on flesh and blood and taught us how to live. He understands what we go through. Have you experienced the death of a loved one, he understands. Have you ever been abandoned and betrayed by a friend, he understands. Have you ever put all your effort into helping someone only to have them reject you, he knows what that is like. That is good news for us. We have a God who understands pain. That is the Christmas story, that is God being proactive. He put on flesh and entered the world as flesh and blood so you and I could have a more peaceful life. This isn’t about nativity scenes, it’s about a God who gave himself as a gift. Jesus life was spent serving others and bringing them hope, peace, and good news. One of my favorite sayings of Jesus is this: “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” DO you need some rest? The world is full of bad news. Wouldn’t you like to take a rest. That tragedy has been heavy on your heart for so long – wouldn’t you like for him to carry it for you? That guilt and shame has taken your peace for too long now – wouldn’t you like to rest? God’s response to this suffering world is an invitation to rest. We live busy lives. We have appointments and deadlines. We have stress and burdens. We get tired and want to rest, but we say we must continue. We think we must keep carrying this weight, we must stay stressed. We feel that life is meant to be stressful, but Jesus offer rest. When I look at the tragedies around me I wonder, “Where are you, God?” His response is that he is right here offering me some rest, but I look everywhere else. Don’t you think you have looked everywhere else long enough? Wouldn’t you like to rest in Jesus? I have three questions for you to think about . Feel free to respond on this post or just to quietly answer these for yourself: What personal hardship has affected your life? How has it changed your life? How do you need God to respond?

Fantasy Football, Fantasy Church

Today is the big day. My fantasy football team has its first matchup. I do not yet know the outcome. I have to wait until all the games have been played. Fantasy football is about drafting players from each skill position and your points are based their actual performances. We had a live draft on a Monday night. We went into a classroom at our church and began the draft process. I recall the conversations regarding the various players. We each made statements like “he has a lot of potential.” ”He is such a great player if he can stay healthy.” ”He would be awesome if he would stop complaining and start doing his job on the team.” I suppose it is a little silly for grown men to sit in a room and pretend to be owners and managers of a football team, but it was a great time of fellowship.

Later, I began thinking about the church and about men and women of faith throughout history. What if we could have a fantasy draft for our church? Who would we choose? Why would we choose them? I began to think of people we read about in the Bible and how they had great faith. Perhaps someone may pick Noah. After all, he was faithful in a time when no one else was. God chose to save Noah and his family and start all over. What a great man of faith. We should definitely choose him for our fantasy faith team. The only problem is that when he is finally able to stand on dry ground again , he passes out drunk and naked. Perhaps we can rethink this pick.

What about Abraham? He would be great. God told him to pack his belongings and set off for a place. Abraham did not know where he was going, but he trusted that God would direct his path and protect him. At least, he trusted that God would protect him sometimes. He had his wife Sarai lie a couple of time and say she was his sister in order to save himself because although he knew God, he still thought he had to take precautions (being deceitful) in order to stay safe. Maybe you want to wait until a later round now before you decide to draft Abraham.

What about David? Now there is a first round pick if ever there was one. A shepherd boy who fearlessly faced a giant named Goliath. The giant was a trained warrior, yet David faced him when all of Israel’s fighting men were too afraid. From shepherd to king – that is the man I want on my team. I choose David first. He is perfect for my team. Wait, there was that thing with Bathsheba. He was outside and she was in the tub. He glanced in her direction, then he glanced again. Then he stared. Then he lusted. Then he slept with her and she became pregnant and he plotted to have her husband murdered. Maybe I should rethink picking David for my team.

I choose Peter. He was one of Jesus’ closest friends. Surely he would be close to the heart of God. I mean he walked with Jesus for three years. He saw Jesus perform miracle after miracle. Peter heard God’s voice in the form of Jesus. He touched God’s shoulder in the form of Jesus. He sat at the table and dined with the Son of God. I am definitely picking Peter as my first choice. He delivered the great message at Pentecost where thousands came to Christ. He followed Jesus ready to fight and die for him. I choose Peter. He even walked on the water. I definitely choose Peter. Okay, so while walking on the water, he got scared and began to sink. At least he still had the courage to do it in the first place. Oh, and there was the whole thing where Jesus told Peter he would deny him. Of course, Peter said “I would never do that, Lord.” Way to go Peter! But then they came to arrest Jesus. Peter followed at a distance and while warming himself by a fire, people began questioning him and asking if he was a Jesus follower. What did he do? He denied it. He denied it again. Then he denied a third time. Maybe I should rethink choosing Peter to be on my team as well.

The point is that we all have flaws. Some of the greatest men and women in the Bible have major issues. They sin. They make mistakes. They struggle with their faith. For me, that gives me hope. I can see the people as real. They are real people with real flaws. They have struggles. they doubt. They fall flat on their face. They make mistakes. They are human. Just like our group of men sitting in a room talking about the strengths and weaknesses of various players, we all have strengths and weaknesses. We often do the same when it comes to church. “That person is such a gifted teacher” while at the same time saying “if he could just be more organized.” We say “what a great singer” but also “she keeps finding the wrong men.” We have men of great talent, but they struggle with pornography. We have women with so much to offer, yet they suffer from deep depression. We are a church of flawed people. We have major character flaws. We sin. We doubt. We struggle. Yet at the same time – we love, we serve, we have faith.

I am thankful that the Bible shows us the strengths and the weaknesses of people. It gives me hope. I am thankful that men were not allowed to edit their lives and share only the strong points, but that we are also exposed to their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. We can have hope. Hebrews 11 is often referred to as the “hall of faith.” It is filled with names of great men and women who showed amazing faith. For the purpose of this post, I will refer to it as God’s starting lineup. The men and women listed there had amazing faith and courage, yet they also had flaws. they were murderers, adulterers, and even prostitutes. Yet God chose them to be on his team. It gives me hope. If they can be drafted onto God’s team, maybe I have a chance at being drafted too. thank you, God, for letting me be on your team.

My Healer; My Solid Rock

It began like any other Sunday. I clocked out at work at 6:00 AM and drove home to try to get some sleep before it was time to leave for worship. We were running late and by the time we checked the kids into their classes, we had missed a couple of songs. A video played discussing mission work in Cyprus, but there was a technical glitch and it kept stopping and starting. When it was decided the video would not play, the band came back up to lead us in a few songs.

In all honesty, my mind was wandering all over the place. I was thinking about being late and how I hate being late. I was thinking about my day and how I did not have enough sleep. I was wondering what was wrong with the video and why it wasn’t playing. I was distracted. I said a silent prayer to God asking Him to let me focus.

Josh (our worship leader) introduced the next song and I was immediately brought back into focus. The song wasChris Tomlin’s Our God. It talks about how great our God is. He is greater, stronger, higher than any other. It then had the words “Our God is healer, awesome in power.” I began to think of healing. My mind first went to my dad, who had been in the hospital for a while and who was not doing well during that stay. He is now improving daily and I thanked God for being his healer. I then thought about my own life and the healing taking place. I had been bitter and guilty for quite some time after losing my last ministry job, I felt like such a failure. Tears were forming in my eyes as I sang about God being my healer. He is healing me more and more each day as I seek His will. He is healing my hurts; my pain; my brokenness. He is is greater than my pain. He is stronger than my guilt. He is healer of my sorrows. He is Lord. By the time we got to the part of the song that reinforces if our God is for us, what can stand against us, I was so excited to be God’s child.

A little later in the worship time we sang the old hymn My Hope is Built on Nothing Less. The chorus states “on Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.” I began to thank God for being the solid rock I can stand upon. I also wondered why so many times, I try to stand on ground that isn’t solid. I look at the sinking sand around me and think, “I can make it across before I start to sink.” That is not true. Every time I try to stand on anything other than Christ, I sink deep into the quick sand. The more I struggle to get free, the deeper I sink. Why do I keep trying to stand on anything but Jesus? He is the solid rock. He holds me up in a world of sinking sand. He heals my hurts, pains, sorrows, shame, guilt, and regrets. I am so thankful for the way God answered my prayer Sunday morning. He used the songs to minister to me. He always knows just what I need and He is always ready to point me back to him if I am only willing to listen. I pray we can learn to put aside our distractions and listen to His still quiet voice as He so deeply longs to speak to us.

Jesus the Servant

They were often dirty and in need of being washed. They were usually tired from a long journey. What were they? They were feet. Feet that needed to be washed. Our Lord recognized the need and brought out the water basin and towel. He began to wash the feet of those who didn’t deserve it. They were the men who should be washing his feet, yet not one volunteered. Jesus then began to serve those who did not deserve it. He served the one that would deny him. He got on his knees and performed an act of service on the one that would stab him in the back with a kiss of death.

“For the Son did not come to be served, but to serve,” the words ring in the memory of all who were present. It was hard for Peter to understand and so our Lord said, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” Christ had to serve. He had to wash their feet, for that is why he came. He came to serve.

Christ has served you and me also. Because he recognized a need in us that no other could, or would, meet. We were in need of cleaning and so He wrapped the towel around his waist and became a servant. “Unless I wash you,” he says, “you have no part with me.”

Jesus continued by saying, “now that I have washed your feet, you should wash one another’s feet.” How can we serve each other? What area of need can you fill? Do you know someone in need of a friend - will you choose to be a friend to them? Do you know someone in need on food or clothing - can you help? Are you willing to get up, wrap the towel around your wait, and grab the water basin? Are you ready to wash some feet?

Change a Child's Life

Last month we had a fall festival at church. Kids came and played games and were rewarded with candy. We tried to be as intentional as possible about setting it up in a way that we were able to interact with the kids and their parents. I think we succeeded in some small way with interacting with the families. I got to spend some good time playing and talking with the kids. I worked three games and it was so much fun. I loved meeting the families. It seemed the most popular game of the evening was the soccer ball kick. Basically we had a goal and the kids kicked the soccer ball into the goal. What I liked about it was the way the kids took their time to aim their kick. This gave us a great opportunity to talk. There were lots of names and faces and I know I will not remember them all, but I will definitely remember one family. There were 4 kids of varying ages and a mom. They were friendly as I said hello and introduced myself. One of the girls came dressed up in a home made costume. I could tell she felt uncomfortable with some of the other kids wearing their store bought costumes and the look in her eyes told me she wanted to fit in and have a nice costume like the other kids. I could tell from her hair style and the sparkly jacket she was dressed as Hannah Montana. I watched this family as they went to various games. Understand that most of the people working were of retirement age and had no idea who Hannah Montana was. However, they could recognize Spiderman, Batman, and Batgirl This made the girl feel even more inferior. When she came to my game, I decided to treat her like a star. I walked over to hand her the ball for the game and said. "Wow! Hannah Montana is right here beside me." The girl smiled because I recognized her costume. I began to ask her what her favorite song was, what she liked about performing, has she ever done a talent show at school, would she be willing to sing for us. Her mom got teary eyed as I asked "Hannah Montana" for her autograph. As the girl walked away with a big smile, her mother stayed behind and said "thank you." The family was so moved by the experience, they stayed after everyone else had left to help us clean. We loaded their arms with left over candy and food. I walked with the family to their car and thanked them for coming. I especially thanked "Hannah Montana" for coming to visit us. Their eyes and smiles were beaming with joy and happiness as they drove off. I said a silent prayer for the family and went to hug my own kids and tell them how much I loved them.

What I did was nothing significant. I did not solve world hunger. I did not explain the deepest mysteries of life. I made a family smile. I made a little girl feel good about herself. I made a mom cry tears of joy. It was so small, yet it made a difference to that child and to that family. I often find myself around people who want to make a difference but do not know how. They feel in order to make a difference, they have to do something really big and life changing that converts hundreds of people. I understand where they are coming from. I used to have those same thoughts. I thought if I made a difference in the world - it would have to be huge and gain national attention. But the fact of the matter is I made a difference to that little girl and her family. She went from feeling awkward and inferior at the beginning of the evening to confident and filled with laughter by the end of the evening. Her mom went from feeling sad for not being able to buy her daughter a costume to feeling so happy that her daughter's costume brought her so much attention. Making a difference in someone's life is not always some big act of kindness like giving them a car or house; sometimes it's making them smile and feel good about their life. I thank God that I met "Hannah Montana." She reminded me that life is about building others up when the world tries to tear them down.

Post-Election Thoughts

I am not a fan of politics. I never have been. However, I do keep up with politics. I feel it is important to vote. I love living in a country that I am free to express myself in. I am free to vote for any candidate I choose, and for that I am thankful. I am thankful to our country's founding fathers who laid a foundation that still stands today. I am thankful for the many men and women who give themselves in service to our country. I pray that those who gave their lives for the freedom of our nation will not be in vain. I love America. I weep for America. I pray for
America.

There are things that I hold as very important. Those things shape me and make me who I am as a person. Many of those things are labeled as politics. I must admit that I honestly struggled with this election. I struggled with who to vote for. I received lots of forwarded emails from friends and family that talked about why or why not to vote for a particular candidate. Most of the time when I researched the accusations, they came back false. I quickly dismissed those and began to wonder and pray about who I should vote for and not who others thought I should vote for.
Early on, I was really excited about Barack Obama. His work as a community leader who spent himself on behalf of the poor was something I really respected. He seemed like a man I could support. He understood challenges. He is a bi-racial man and if you work among bi-racial or African American people, you understand the challenges they face on a daily basis. I have spent most of my adult life working among poor minority families and I understand they have stuggles. I have a son who has black skin and I see the stares and hear the comments and my eyes are open to the struggles of minorities that are often sterotyped simply because their skin is darker than mine. I respected the fact that Barack Obama overcame those issues and was working to better people who were in poverty.

As for John McCain, he was not my first choice as a republican candidate. I prefered Ron Paul or Mike Huckabee. But I respected McCain. How can you not respect a man that was a P.O.W. and has done so much to serve our country? But I do not like the fact that he left his wife. Yet, in all honesty, we all fail and make mistakes - huge mistakes sometimes.

Let me say some of the things I believe and that ultimately swayed my vote. While like any other person I am concerned with the economy, I could not base my vote primarily on the economy. Something about that goes against my conscience - I never want to make a decision solely based on money. I am pro-life. I beleive that abortion is not the answer. I beleive that life starts at the moment of conception and therefore to have an abortion is take a life. I understand there are circumastances that people need to wrestle with and that I find myself wrestling with in regards to abortion. What if a person is raped? I still beleive we should not punish the child - and I understand that I have never been in that situation. What if the mother will probably die if the child is not aborted? I understand those situations are going to be tough, but ultimately I believe that abortion is taking a life.

I beleive that homosexuality is a sin. I do not know how a person can read the Bible and come to any other conclusion. Yet, I also believe that if a person is a homosexual (they are attracted to a person of the same gender) that it is not a cause for me to treat them harshly. While it is a sin, so is having sex outside of marriage - yet we seem to be more forgiving of that than homosexuality - Why the double standard?

I beleive that all people deserve to be loved and treated as being created in the image of God, yet I do not want to allow that to turn into accepting every kind of lifestyle. I love the homosexual person because God created them. Yet, I do not accept that lifestyle and do not believe God accepts it either. So I do not want to support a candidate that will compromise and make it seem perfectly acceptable for a homosexual lifestyle. Does that mean we mistreat them? No. Does that mean that we do not allow the homosexual person to be a part of our society? No. It means that we love the homosexual person with a true, authentic, genuine, Christ-like love while not compromising and being acceptable of the homosexual lifestyle.

So, you may have guessed that I voted for McCain. I will say it was not as easy as it has been in the past. I did not see a lot in McCain that would change the current situations we are facing as a nation. I loved the message of change that Obama kept talking about. Yet there was never any specific examples of the change. It seemed as though he really believed in the change, yet I question whether things will be any different. I think it is unfair that the very people who kept talking about Sarah Palin's lack of experience (I agree) overlooked Obama's lack of executive experience as well. Those who said Palin never answered a question directly (and, once again, I agree) overlooked the fact that it seemed Obama rarely answered a question directly either.

So, as a man who loves all people I want to congratulate Obama. I am so glad to see that we have come so far in regard to race. I love diversity. That is part of what I love about the United States. We have so many different cultures and different people groups, yet we are all people. God does not look at the outward man and neither should we. One of my American heroes is Martin Luther King, Jr. I wish he could have lived long enough to see a man of dark skin become president. I still believe in his dream. And every time I look into my son's eyes I believe it even more. So, I celebrate the fact that our country is learning to overcome racism. While I do not agree with Obama on the issues, I can rejoice in the victory that we are learning to get along.

Let me conclude (as this post is getting extremely long) that as a Christian, my hope and trust is in God. No political system will ever solve the greatest problems we face as human beings. No political system has ever cured world hunger. No political system can make everything right. But God can! When we seek afted God, we can make a difference. When we give God total control, then true change will take place. So I must be honest and ask myself - do I vote for helping the poor? That vote is not for a presidential candidate, it is for getting off my couch and going to the poor and serving them. Do I want to see a world where people are free from homesexuality? Then I must learn to stop holding picket signs and start loving the homsexual person with a deep, Christ-like love and perhaps they will see I actually live out what I claim to believe. Do we value the sanctity of marriage? We fight to make sure that marriage is not granted to homosexuals, but do we fight just as hard to protect families from divorce? Divorce rates are just as high among Christians as they are among non-Christians. Do we value life? We fight against abortion, but do we treat people with the love and respect they deserve as being created in the image of God? Do we spend ourselves on behalf of the poor? Are we reaching out to all people in the name of Jesus? Are we showing love? Do people look at us and say, "I want what they have," or do they look at us and say, "Those people claim to follow Jesus, but they are so full of hatred." Are we showing Jesus to the people around us? While I think it is important to vote on election day, I think it is so much more important to live out what we claim to beleive every day. Are you pro-life? then honor the life of each person and treat them in a Christ-like manner? Do you want to see poverty come to an end? Then spend your life on behalf of the poor and marginalized? Do you want to see all people have a voice? Then speak on behalf of those whose voices are not heard. Don't just say it - LIVE IT!!

Commitment

A couple of weeks ago my parents celebrated their anniversary. They have been married for 47 years. That seems out of place in today's culture. It is hard to find people today that have been married for so many years. It speaks to me of the commitment they have had over the years to making their marriage work. They got married at a young age and have been faithfully commited to each other ever since. They are modern day heroes to me. I have great respect for their commitment. Their story has had its share of struggles. Many speed bumps and road blocks have come their way, yet they have stayed on course.

What if everyone was able to make the same commitment in every area of their lives? How much different would our world be? What would it look it? What if a man and woman who say to each other "'til death do us part" actually followed through with it? What if people could view their commitment to God as a commitment that will not be compromised? I pray that Kellie and I will live our marriage as a commitment that can never be compromised - that can never be put aside. I pray that I treat my relationship with Christ in such a way that I will not compromise - that I never let anything get in the way.

In our culture where commitments are often compromised, I pray that we stand strong regardless of what speed bumps or road blocks come into our path. May we learn to stay strong to our commitments.

The Hands of Jesus

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This is a devotional I recorded while trying out some live streaming capability. I apologize for the sound being a little strange in certain parts. Let me know what you think.

A Blessing

I came across this great blessing - a challenge really from one of my college professors facebook notes. I liked it so much that I had to share it with those who read this blog.


May God bless you with discomfort
at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships
so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people
so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
to turn their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in the world
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done
to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen.

Sometimes Life Hurts

Last Friday I took Joshua to a doctor's appointment. It was the routine four month check. I am happy to report that he is healthy and growing strong. A part of the four month check up is immunizations. The word immunizations sounds so much nicer than shots. The nurse came in with three syringes of various immunizations to shoot into my four month old son's legs. My job was to hold his arms and head while the nurse held down his legs and gave him the shots. He screamed a painful cry as the needle penetrated the skin. Big crocodile tears dripped down his face and then he looked at me. I am not sure what his mind is able to comprehend or how he processes his thoughts; but it seemed to be a look of "Why are you letting this happen to me?" It broke my heart. I did not want to see my child hurt. I did not want to see him in pain. I wanted to hold him and tell the nurse to keep those needles away from my baby boy. But I did not. I knew the temporary pain of receiving a shot would help him be stronger and more equipped to fight off sickness in the future.

I began thinking about that and realized it is similar to our spiritual walk with Christ. Sometimes life hurts. We go through trials, persecution, hardships, sickness, and pain. We like Joshua do not understand what is taking place and we look to our heavenly Father with a "why are you letting this happen?" attitude. Nobody enjoys pain (unless there is something deeply wrong with them), yet we all suffer pain. Nobody likes to hurt. We do not like suffering. We do not like persecution, yet we all face it. I believe the trials, persecution, and sufferings we face are making us stronger and more equipped to stand strong in our faith. They serve as a spiritual shot, an immunization, preparing us to fight against the sin that seeks to overtake us.

When the shots were finished, I picked up my son and held him close. I softly talked to him telling I love him. I sang a song to him. I let him know that he was loved. When I make it through a trial, I feel my Lord grab me and hold me close. He whispers that everything is okay. He sings over me. No, I do not hear an audible voice or feel a physical touch from God, yet I experience something much deeper. I experience an amazing renewal and transfromation that moves me closer to God.

Sometimes life hurts. It is during those times that we must learn to listen to what God is seeking to teach us. He loves us and He does not want to see us in pain, but He knows that when we overcome this temporary trial - we will receive something much greater.

The Denial

John records a scene in chapter thirteen of his gospel about Jesus that is so heartbreaking. Jesus knows that his time to bear the cross is drawing near. In verses 37-38, we are told of an incident that brings tears to eyes of many. “Peter asked him, ‘Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life you.’ Then Jesus answered, ‘Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!” Can you see the tears in Jesus’ eyes as he speaks those words? Can you hear the pain in his voice? He knows that Peter loves him. He knows that Peter is sincere, but he also knows that Peter will indeed deny him three times.

How many times do we deny Christ? How many times do we say with all sincerity, “I will lay down my life for you,” but when the hardship comes we deny him? With a compassion that can only be felt by our Lord, he weeps and cries over us. With tears in his eyes and with nails in his hands and feet, he says, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” He forgave Peter for denying him, just as he continually forgives us.

Today, we choose to celebrate that forgiveness. We rejoice with Peter in experiencing the grace and mercy of a God who loves us beyond all comprehension. Even now as you have so many thoughts on your mind and heart about all those times you denied your Jesus, you can take comfort in those words spoken on the cross and for eternity, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Sickness

What a strange title to a blog post. Let me explain. Sickness seems to be going around our house. I was sick for a couple of weeks and when I started to get better, it hit Timothy. He is fine now, but Kellie is really sick. It is never fun to be sick, but it seems to be a part of life sometimes. I wish people did not have to get sick. I wish we could all live happy, healthy productive lives without sickness. However, we live in an imperfect world. We live in a world that is sick and diseased. We live in a fallen world.

I have learned some lessons that I think are good reminders through this season of sickness. While I did not enjoy being sick, I hated seeing my family being sick. I hate the sad look on my kids faces and I hate seeing them hurt. I hate seeing my wife struggle with the most basic of tasks due to sickness. I wish I could take it from them. I wish I had the ability to take their sickness upon myself in order for them to be free of the sickness.

I believe God has the same feelings in regard to us. We are His children. He hates to see us suffer from the sickness in our lives. Although I believe he never intended for us to get sick, we live with sickness in our lives. This sickness is much deeper than a cold, flu, or even cancer. We live with a sickness in our souls. We are in need of someone to take this sickness away. This sickness affects our families, our relationships, our lives. This sickness of sin creates a vacuum that separates from our Father. This spiritual cancer penetrates our hearts and we become termanally ill. That is until a cure is found.

The good news for us is that Jesus is the cure. God saw our sickness. He observed our pain. He looked at the tears in our eyes. He saw our hopeless situation and he responded. He sent His Son to be our cure. Jesus took our spiritual sickness and carried it to the cross. He is the cure to our soul's diseases. He is the perfect remedy to our sinful hearts. His name is Jesus - and He is our healer!